Why am I crying so much?

Ok lets try this again. I just wrote this posting and it disappeared.  Funny this posting is called why am i crying, and the process of writing it, losing it and having to write it again has caused me to cry. I'm learning that I'm actually SUPER sensitive. I thought i was hard, but in the absence of sugar, alcohol and cigarettes I'm just naked and vulnerable. I cry in the am. I cry before bed. I cry over good food. I cry over sappy movies. I just got this heart rate monitor in the mail at the recommendation of my friend, trainer extraordinaire, Tah Phrum Da Bush. This is an old homie who was super fine 10 years ago, and NOW....well lets just say he trains for beachbody fitness (T25, insanity etc) and has his own customized programs...which I'm very much looking forward to participating in...Just gotta find a window when I'm home for 3 weeks straight...Needless to say, he is even FINER!! Which I find inspiring...sexy trainers make me wanna train. What can I say? I'm a sucker I just told you that!


Anyway, I downloaded the app, and accidentally input my email addy incorrectly. So now I'm clicking everywhere trying to go back, nothing works. No matter which way I go in this app I'm inevitably returned to the frustrating brick wall that says "login failed" or "There is no account under that address" AAAGHHHH

Yes I did. I just cried again. WTF? I'm not sure I like this feeling. But I'm present to it. I hope I can learn to actually be hard! Or at least protected at some point. 

Is this was RAW foodies go through? I find all my RAW eating friends are on some other plane...have you noticed that? Their energy is at a trillion! Maybe I'll get there...

In the mean and in between time, I'm gonna go try this heart rate monitor out and learn how to keep my heart rate at the optimal weightloss rate! I'm tryna shrink y'all! STAY TUNED