So? How'd you do? How was your 4th? Did you do what you're supposed to? Did you BBQ? Did you drink beer? Did you take shots? Did you eat everything?
I enjoyed one of the best 4th of july's of my life. I'm so in love with it.
I woke up. I started my blog. I ate this:
I had my coffee with unsweetened almond milk and I left for the pool party. Of course I was armed with the fact I don't drink right now and I'm cleansing on the biggest bbq day of the year...but I thought "hell I just cleansed throughout an entire 5 day party camping festival, so what's a one day party? I can handle this"
I wanted to smoke and drink so badly that I was running around singing very bad made up freestyle songs about how bad I wanted to smoke everything and drink everything.
People I was just meeting kept offering me what I wanted out of the goodness of their hearts. It was a true test of strength. I did well considering who I usually am at a party. I usually drink the fastest, laugh the loudest, meet the most new friends and bounce around til I'm the last one standing...
I didn't have not one drink. And even when the snack table was adorned with the healthiest American flag snack tray I had ever seen, with stars of blueberries and stripes made of watermelon and pineapple, I stuck to my guns and ONLY ate the blueberries. I skipped the tropical fruit which is "not on my list" and very high in sugar.
I've learned that I really like having rules to follow cause it takes the pressure off me to make my own decisions. I don't have to think things through and calculate stuff. I just eat what is "on the list" and the weight comes off.
So there I was. Three quarters of the way through the day and feeling good about my choices...but really fighting the little fucker inside who was like "You've done so well! You surpassed your 30 day goal! What's one night of drinking?! You know u wanna try that awesome craft beer that guy is offering...you see all the unopened wine bottles just waiting for you there" and on and on it went.
On top of that I had just begun reading "The 4 hour body" which was recommended by a friend who claimed he lost 70 pounds on that diet. Naturally upon hearing this I immediately purchased the kindle version. I am diligently doing research to figure what my next move is cause tomorrow my Wild Rose Cleanse ends, and I don't wanna be left floundering trying to find my footing in the big bad world with out a road map. I've been SO EXCITED about the 4 hour body mostly because you get a CHEAT DAY!!!
A mutha fukkin cheat day. 👀👅💦🙉😈😻😸😹😭😂👏🙏😹👅💦👀
And I mean this author Timothy Ferriss encourages you to "go ham" on cheat day. He starts the book talking about how he just polished off some chicken and waffles covered in butter and syrup and is still losing weight.
What?! Are you kidding me? Where do I sign??
And then to top it all off, this super sexy dude shows up and says he is so happy to be having beer and burgers cause he just did 3 months clean with a cheat day, and had a lot of success!
A mutha fukkin cheat day. #theYESfeeling 🙏😸👏
My mouth is watering for so many reasons...
So when the desserts came out...I broke down. I justified it left and right by first scooping mostly only berries off the top. They were "on the list" they were allowed. They were safe. But there was a little custard just mingling around the berries and I hadn't tasted anything so sweet in so long. Something went off. I felt the trigger get pulled. I felt the chain reaction begin. I had to have more. Fuck the dumb shit. When I went back for seconds, I was JUUUST a little more liberal with the spoon. I let a little more custard "slip" onto the spoon. I watched some fireworks and enjoyed a few laughs but then I just said fuck it. I'm having some crust and some dag nam CUSTARD!!! I had a sliver of the whole pie. Not even really that much. But I had broken my rules. I had crossed the line. I was officially in crisis.
Now I'm feeling like "Oh no, was this my cheat day? Did I cheat enough to validate it? Am I gonna have to wait a whole week before I cheat again? Should I cheat some more? YES! YESSS that little fukker cried. Yes you should most definitely cheat some more. Just do it! Make it count!
So when I got home I was so disappointed to find that I had been really thorough in cleaning out my cupboards and there wasn't anything naughty at all, anywhere.
You know when you open the fridge again and again?
Like you might find something different this time?
I did that
Magically, there was something there after a while. I hadn't even noticed it at first. But my roommate had for some reason left a bag of mini kit kats in the fridge. "I'm SO going there" I thought.
I opened the bag, hopped into bed, and forced the whole bag down. Honestly after one or two I had had enough sugar and I knew it. It even made my tongue burn. You know the feeling?
So yeah I ate all of them. Like 15 little bite sized pieces of kit kat. Not even quality chocolate. Just shit actually. But I was cheating. And I was committed.
When I woke the next morning I was swollen, my throat hurt, my eyes were puffy and I felt hungover. LESS THAN SEXY.
And isn't the whole point to increase my sexy??
Yo, kit kat bars, you're FIRED!
I hope you learn from what I do and don't bother doing it yourself.
Do as I say, not as I do.
We all have our journey to take, but trust me. Kit kat is SO NOT the way.
Anyway, I'm back on track. and I still lost a half pound or something. Not that the pounds matter. The clothes are fitting just a bit easier. THAT makes it all worth while.
Happy 4th. Just a day when we as Americans find an excuse to grossly abuse our bodies and our environment. Cheers to loving ourselves and proving it everyday in our choices.
Bye bye now. Thanks for tuning in. If you're inspired to share, please tag me @honeylarochelle #healthyhoney #bodybeautiful